


Grace

by iseeangels



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-10
Updated: 2014-01-10
Packaged: 2018-01-08 05:51:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1129091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iseeangels/pseuds/iseeangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel fell. He lost it all. His Father, his brothers and sisters, his home, his wings, his Grace, his everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Grace

**Author's Note:**

  * For [loki_turned_tony_into_a_cat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/loki_turned_tony_into_a_cat/gifts).



> you have lovley feet

Castiel fell. He lost it all. His Father, his brother and sisters, his home, his wings, his Grace, his everything.

Though, he gained two friends he would trust with his life. Sam, who was in the kitchen on his laptop researching local deaths for a case they were looking into. And Dean, who was presently not here.

Castiel tried not to let it show, but despite his best efforts, it was obvious. He was still falling. He tried, but couldn’t drown his demons-they knew how to swim.. His loneliness washed over him day after day. Sometimes he longed for the feeling of not feeling at all.

He knew he shouldn’t, Not with Sam and Dean here, but the facts remained the same, he was empty. Without his Grace he was just a shell, no connection to his family or home. It was a noticeable absence, one that couldn’t be filled with anything else.

To Sam’s questions he always answered with a nod and a quiet “I’m fine.” But with Dean it was harder. He couldn’t seem to get the lies past his lips around the older brother. So he would only shake his head and look away.

He had trouble walking without the weight of his wings on his back, everything was off balance. He was off balance.

A whispered “I’m sorry,” to Heaven gone unanswered had made him lose his confidence with prayer. Now simply, he didn’t exist.

He knew that wasn’t exactly true, it was just hard to think positive when you had to look up to see the bottom.

Castiel, looking out the window, was interrupted in his thoughts by Sam walking into the room with a big grin on his face.

"Dean called," he said "He has something to show us when he gets back."

The way he said it made it clear that he already knew what the ‘something’ was, and approved of it. But that didn’t reassure Castiel. Dean was never quite predictable, and that never failed to worry Castiel.

"Thank you, Sam." He said and looked back toward the window, waiting for the telltale black Impala to pull up into the drive.

As Sam exited the room, his thoughts returned. He had given up everything he had, and the cost had been more than expected. But he was trying every day to except that, taking pleasure where he could find it in the little things, like, the brotherly bickering he was exposed to everyday, Dean’s smile as Sam complains about the choice of music, Bobby’s affection towards them like they were his own sons, and the sound of his own shortened name, Cas, when being addressed was all he needed for an assurance. All this he witnessed from his new home in the backseat of the Impala.

"Where is everybody? I’m home and I got a present!"   
Cas heard Dean yell from the entrance. He had been so lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed Dean’s arrival.

He walked into the kitchen where the two brothers were standing. Dean’s back was to him and Sam was cooing at something in Deans arms.

At times like these Cas couldn’t help but feel a small bubble of what he believes is happiness, come to life in his stomach. This was his new family. They cared for him like he had always belonged, and he cared for them like he wasn’t afraid anymore.

Most things he wished for had always been just beyond his reach, but this…this would always be at arm’s length. Available.

Dean turns when he hears Castiel enter the room. His smile is one of those that makes you forget why you feel alone and compels you to smile along with him.

"How about this, Cas?"

Castiel’s eyes drops down to the bundle in his arms. A tiny head peeks out of a pink blanket, and little fingers reach out in his direction.

"Her name’s Grace."

Cas can’t hold back a smile at the name and takes a step closer, letting the little fingers wrap around one of his own.

"Grace." He whispered. He had lost his, but now it seemed as though he was getting it back.

Just not quite in the way he had expected.

This was different. Better, maybe.

"I’m glad to have you back." He whispers, inaudible to all except the infant before him.

A happy giggle let’s him know that they’d been there all along.

 

**Author's Note:**

> You do. Really.


End file.
